The Fat Just Walks Away!

Ah, January 1. Tis the season to make all those stupid resolutions, "I'm going to join a gym, exercise two hours a day, and eat only cottage cheese and celery to get the holiday pounds off!!!" Yeah, too bad we don't have Adipose Industries to help the fat walk away. I mean, take a pill a day and lose a kilo? How sweet is that?

Instead of Adipose Industries, in the real world we're inundated with a shit-ton of commercials beginning the day after Christmas. We have Janet Jackson solemnly telling us how terrible it's been and how she's eating Nutrisystem pre-packed foods. Marie Osmond's still shilling for them too. Mariah Carey's hawking Jenny Craig, showing off her post-baby body. Weight Watchers is guilty also, trying to lure us in with Jennifer Hudson. Rumor has it Weight Watchers is courting Jessica Simpson with a multi-million dollar deal after she gives birth.

As for the pill-pushers we need look no further than Snooki and Holly Madison. I just saw some NV commercial while watching "Stepbrothers" on FX. Holly's strutting her stuff, rubbing her ass, and look at her, all skinny and shit. Whoo. Hoo. And for some odd reason Snooki's selling some sort of miracle diet pill in the back of Self magazine...SELF!!! A magazine that claims to promote healthy lifestyles accepts advertising from a crap diet pill.

Quite honestly, I hate that we're bombarded with celebrity endorsements for weight loss products. You cannot tell me they don't have personal trainers on speed dial or chefs to dish out portion-controlled meals. Do we really think Mariah would eat that crap Jenny Craig calls food? Does Janet simply pull a microwave meal out of a freezer and hit the +30 second button? Is Jennifer really weighing and measuring her food herself?

Bullshit. Yeah, I'm calling it. Bullshit.

Even though I'm sick and tired of the other commercials of real people showing off their success, at least they're real people. They aren't perfect; they don't have all the niceties celebrities can afford. They possibly paid for a few sessions with a personal trainer at the local YMCA or had a back-up Lean Cuisine entrees for a quick portion-controlled lunch.

All these commercials make me want to punch these celebrities in the throat.

Gosh, just imagine if the fat could just walk away...

If you're not a Doctor Who watcher, those little creatures are Adipose babies. Aren't they cute?

Rose Tyler: Bad Wolf

Now, don't stare. Look what you look like to them, all... pink and yellow. (The Doctor, "New Earth")

Rose Tyler, just a shopgirl from the Powell Estate dating Mickey Smith...until she met a mysterious man who saved her from maniacal mannequins (really called Autons) in the first episode of the revamped series ("Rose"). From there that man, known as The Doctor, took Rose through space and time. Along the way Rose fell in love with the Doctor, going as far as taking the TARDIS's time vortex and saving The Doctor from certain death.

The words Bad Wolf followed The Doctor and Rose through space and time...

Now you tell me, god of all Daleks, 'cause there's one thing I never worked out. The words Bad Wolf. Spread across time and space. Everywhere. Drawing me in. How'd you manage that? (The Doctor)

It wasn't until the episode "The Parting of the Ways" that Rose realized what those words meant...

I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself. I take the words, I scatter them in time and space. A message to lead myself here...You are tiny. I can see the whole of time and space. Every single atom of your existence. And I divide them. Everything must come to death. All things. Everything dies. The Time War ends. (Rose)

Rose's attire consisted of a variety of hoodies and jeans. She's a woman who seems to like pink. Therefore I chose China Glaze's Bad Kitty for Rose's color.



Okay, so I already reviewed this polish back in May but I assure you it's on my nails right now!

Bad Kitty was chosen for Rose for a few reasons...It's bubble gum pink, it has multi-colored glitter (for the stars), and the name Bad Kitty? HAHAHAHAHHAA! It just seems like a color Rose would wear if she were to polish her nails. She's still a teen when she meets The Doctor for the first time so I think she'd wear crazy glitterbombs.

It took three coats to get Bad Kitty to look like this. It's a gelatinous polish and is best layered over another pink. I used one coat of Seche Vite last night and two coats of Gelous this morning and I still feel the bumps of the glitter. I know it's going to be a bear to take off too. GAH! But hey, it's a fun polish and I love it.

As for Rose Tyler?

Rose, before I go, I just want to tell you, you were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. And you know what? So was I. (The Doctor, "The Parting of the Ways.")

Yeah, I Know...

I'm one of those bloggers who completely and utterly slacked off. Honestly? I burned out. During the summer I traveled to Ohio for my sister-in-law's wedding, to Las Vegas for an informal high school reunion (and bought Chanel's Peridot and a handful of Island Girl polishes), and to California to visit my parents (not a fun visit; I'm trying to get them to get their shit together estate-planning wise). My tweenager started middle school, my husband traveled to San Diego and Taiwan for work (7 weeks in Taiwan!). And I just went, "Blerg."

Oddly enough, things are coming together. I started going to therapy again for ADHD issues. I got a script for ADHD meds and I just started yesterday. I hope to get my act together and get some weight off this middle-aged body. And while my husband was gone, the Kiddo and I fell helplessly into the time vortex that's known as Doctor Who.

Rose Tyler and Nine. Wish he'd stayed longer even if Ten is my Doctor. Nine was rather bad-ass and the leather jacket? Yes, please!

So why am I mentioning Doctor Who? Why am I using an image of Nine and Rose? What the hell am I going on about?

Well...I had an idea, an epiphany if you will, whilst showering the other night. There are polish collections fashioned around movies like Shrek and Pirates of the Carribean. China Glaze is issuing a Hunger Games collection (kind of a head scratcher if you ask me, considering the dystopian nature of the series). OPI's paired with Katy Perry and Nicki Minaj for collections (and I saw the Nicki Minaj collection yesterday and I found it yawn-worthy). So why not create a collection for Doctor Who?

For my upcoming series I have a set of guidelines for myself:

• I'm only doing the new series, not Classic Who. I'm not familiar enough with Classic Who.
• Except Sarah Jane. She was in enough New Who to warrant an article.
• All polishes must be in my current collection.
• All polishes must be easy to find...well, I'm making an exception for one particular polish but it's China Glaze.

Also, I'm going to branch out with Pet Fur. It's not going to be exclusively about nail polish. Don't get me wrong! I still have a love affair with polish. I picked up two at Rite Aid the other day (I'm rather miffed with this Chameleon polish. It's a gorgeous duochrome but even with a ridge filler the ridges are prominent. What the hell?) and three at Blooming Beauty (two OPI's and a Zoya). I'm anxiously awaiting my Models Own Beetlejuice collection to arrive from the UK. But I want to document other stuff like embarking on ADHD meds, hopefully joining a running group at the YMCA, and going on Weight Watchers for the 1,500 time next week (dudes, I want to go to Outback Steakhouse and nom the hell out of their smashed potatoes!).

I'm going to get a bit more personal...

Picture Dump

As promised, here's my picture dump. Not as many as I thought I had. Sorry!

This is a failed attempt at Sally Hansen's Crackle in "Ink" over Savvy "Ruby Slippers". The Ruby Slippers had chipped and I didn't touch it up before I slopped the Crackle on it, so this is a hot mess. No, actually, just a mess.

My hubby and I enjoy spending our Sunday afternoons walking around the local flea market, Trader's Village. I believe it's the largest outdoor flea market in the Southwest. The last time we were there was the first time I was greeted with this huge display of I.C.E. polish. I've never heard of it and never seen it anywhere else. The bottles look a lot like Fingerpaints bottles. All this gorgeous color for $1 a bottle!

I bought two, Neon Yellow and Neon Purple. No swatches yet. I've only worn the purple. I liked it, it was a nice cream (my favorite formula).

My tiny polish stash. No Helmers or anything around here. One thing you will find about us, Hermoine is all about the good, high-end polish, while I'm cheap and stick to Sinful Colors and drugstore stuff. That's why we're a good team; if one of us doesn't buy it, maybe the other one will!

Speaking of Sinful Colors, this is Serena and Chloe. I've had it for years and didn't know it; I found it in the back of my under-sink storage in the bathroom. Don't know why I didn't remember it,  because I sure do like it!

This is OPI "Don't Mess With OPI". I love this one. Oh, the story behind the blackboard note: My workplace had a Mardi Gras party...on March 17...which is St. Patrick's Day...and a Thursday...and was 8 days after Fat Tuesday...and they asked us all to dress and decorate in green...but it was definitely a Mardi Gras party, not a St. Patrick's Day party, because I asked. So after my head exploded from the stupidity, I looked up the French word for Thursday, and wrote that on my message board. Because I am a smart ass. The other background stuff on my wall is because I'm Catholic. So there's your warning. Look out, Smart Ass Catholic with loud nails coming through!

I found these cute glitter polishes and squealed like a fangirl and bought them for my birthday. Got home and did a skittles with them--and discovered they are a kids' play dress-up polish and they were a peel-off polish. Not a total fail, because I love to peel things. But not a polish I can wear, because I'm hard on my nails and use them as tools.

And finally, my Holy Grail last season. OPI San-Tan-Tonio. I looked all over for this thing. Every display of the Texas line I found, they had every color but this one. Which is weird, because I haven't seen people around town wearing it. You'd think if it was always sold out, I'd run into it out in the wild somewhere. My notes on this one say "Sinful Colors base, 2 coats of color, Sinful Colors top coat."

--Leisa

Hello from the absent Other Person

Howdy howdy howdy! I'm Leisa, the other person on this blog.You know, the one who never posts. (Hermoine, I don't know how to update the "about us" part, so please move some or all of this there, or tell me how and I'll do it!)

Like I said, I'm Leisa (I'm not cool enough to think of a good pseudonym). I'm 44, live in Texas, been married 20 years as of Sept 14, and a servant to 3 dogs and a cat. I work in the wireless industry, doing Tier 3 tech support for corporate and government accounts (I won't mention the company, but one of their logo colors is one of the streakiest polish colors known to woman).

I've known Hermoine (that's so hard to remember to write!) for almost 9 years. We met on another message board and became friends when she started a private board for our little group of friends who shared being on a weight loss journey with the need to be snarky about people who would eat 3 pounds of cheese in a sitting then whine that they didn't lose any weight. (OMG, longest sentence EVAH!) We met in person in 2005 (butt-a-FOO-co!) on a girl's weekend at the beach where there was so much awesome in one place that even Katrina and Rita couldn't keep us away!

Right now I'm off work while I battle a recurrence of cancer. I was diagnosed with Stage IV metastatic colon cancer in Nov, 2008 (that's the "butt" reference H mentions in her "About Me" post). By the time it was discovered, it had spread to my ovaries and appendix (both useless organs, so no great loss). My last blood test showed a tiny fall in my CEA (tumor markers), so I'm hoping that's a trend that will continue.

I am also a huge abuser of parentheses (look, here's another one!)

OH! Forgot to mention polish--DUH! I got hooked on polish and polish blogs the beginning of this year. I don't wear make up, not because I don't like it, but because 1) I'd rather sleep later than get up early enough to "do my face" (I have a 45-60 minute drive to work) and 2) My eyesight is so bad that even using my 10x magnifying lighted mirror, I still have problems seeing well enough to apply my makeup. Plus, with all the fabulous, unorthodox polish colors out now, I can be loud and rowdy and express myself through my nails!

To get started, I'm going to do a picture dump of some old photos I have taking up pixels on my FB profile. That's coming in a few minutes, so stay tuned!

--Leisa

The Bride was Happi!

I went to northern Ohio this weekend. Why? Because my favorite sister-in-law got married! And since I live 10 hours away there wasn't much I could do but offer advice and provide some phalange assistance.

Ron and our kiddo drove up on Wednesday, taking nine of my polishes with them. Eep! Not my OPI Nice Stems! I also sent along OPI Princesses Rule!, Zoya's Gilda, China Glaze's Naked and Good Witch, but ultimately the Bride and I chose Zoya's Happi.

Hello, Kitty!

I'd also found Hello Kitty nail appliques at Sephora the weekend before...how could I pass those up? The Bride love Hello Kitty (as do I!). She had HK on her wedding ring finger and a butterfly applique from the same pack on her other hand. This was also The Bride's first professional manicure! hence the little bit of nail art. Thank goodness the technician didn't get too crazy. Nail art seems pretty big in northern Ohio along with nose piercings and lots of boobs. Seriously, the cleavage display was off the leash, including mine!

I changed my mind.

I was wearing OPI's Wing It! the day before but my thumb nail chipped. Grrrr. So while Ron was running about delivering cakes to the hall, I was back at the hotel painting my nails. This is two coats of Princesses Rule with two coats of I Lily Love You. Not my best polish job but it was fun and festive for a joyous day.

Happi's really zooming up my personal charts. It's such a versatile pink! It looks good on my pasty hands, on Miss M's hands, and now on The Bride's hands. We're all different skin tones (The Bride got a spray tan the day before!) but it look great on everybody. It had enough fun and funkiness for the big day without being too far out there.

Hyper Fairy Overdrive!

Oh, it's been rainy and ugly here in SE Virginia. My pictures have been crummy; I prefer to get polish shots in natural sunlight since I don't have a light box. Yesterday I wore China Glaze 2NITE, the yummy medium blue holo, and there was no sun. GAH!

I felt the need to wear something pink today after a series of yellow, purple, and blue nails. I pulled out my first Butter London I bought at Christmas time, Fairy Lights. It was part of that kit that includes a tiny bottle of their Powder Room remover. The remover's long gone but the polish isn't.

I know you've seen Fairy Lights and might be thinking, "Wait a minute, why is there sparkle?"

Look at the holo-sparkle! Edward the Pillow-Biter's got nothing on me!

Because I can't leave well-enough alone. Fairy Lights is a pretty silvery-pink foil that totally plays up my ridgey nails, even with a base coat of Bridge the Ridge. I needed at least two coats of ridge filler. So of course I had to slap a layer of China Glaze Fairy Dust on top of the Lights!



Ugh, the ridges in my thumb are driving me nuts!

Fairy Lights is very very pretty! However, I didn't like the way the brush felt in my hand. The handle is stubby and it wasn't comfortable in hand. I prefer something a bit longer; that seems to give me more leverage. The handle I do like? The Poshe' top coat!

Anyway, I don't think I like this for me. Foil polishes are gorgeous in the bottle by on my nails it looks like hell. The ridges are very visible even after a good base coat. And it kind of screams Grandma to me and even though I know there are women out there who are grandmothers at age 43, I'm not one of them! Once I get around to doing a giveaway (sometime in August due to my crazy travel ahead) I think I'll put this one up for the contest.

By the way, I'm going out of town for my sister-in-law's wedding this weekend. I sent along nine polishes for the bride-to-be to choose from, the OPI Nice Stems collection, a couple of pale pink China Glazes (I believe Bad Witch and Naked), a couple of Zoya's (Happi and something else). Chris loves Hello Kitty and I found HK nail appliques at Sephora, hehe! I'm wearing an aqua blue cotton sundress, multi-colored sandals, and a mustard yellow handbag. I'm getting my pedicure today with China Glaze's Blue Iguana and painting my nails with OPI's Wing It, the polish that screams ME!!!